the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
You write all this and don't even say the fucking word woman and then in the tags you say "We support sex workers" You're just as fucking bad as everyone else.
oh, i see you and a few people like you are struggling with this content. no worries. let's try to work through this together.
If you put on your good reading eyes and big thinking cap, try to go back over the post and see if i do or do not use the word "woman" or "women." (HINT: I might also use man). then use these Key Reading Notes to guide your interpretation:
- do you think it is possible that any person can experience the results of a puritanical culture that degrades and dehumanizes normal human behavior? (THINK: Taylor Lautner was 15 when grown adults begged him to be their husband, their hands shaking, tears in their eyes. Did he have to use the word "woman" in his experience?
- how can society trap sex workers in a horrible loop of both scrutinizing their experience while also demanding excellent performance? how is a video of someone in ropes only okay if it is selling perfume or a car? why are artists on this site blocked by the porn ban, but none of the bots are? what conditions are we creating for victims to come forward? how are we preventing abuse in the industry that is obviously making a few specific people a lot of money? (KEY NOTE: is it only women in porn? is there a reason that when you picture pornography, you assume only women must be present? it's a visible connection to your misogyny: there is often also a man in the scene. that man is also a sex worker. why might it be that you were picturing the woman on her knees?)
- who are you fighting here? (NOTE: with your hands up, flinching, you try to devour the world because the anger in your heart burns louder than the kindness. this will annihilate you. you sit and you scream and it makes no difference. you throw your hands against the wall and it changes nothing. where is the word woman? here, right here, here you go: woman. woman. woman. was it worth it? does it help? does it save any one person? elicit any real response? make that wretched white heart of yours burn a little lower?
- when was the last time you actually reached out and helped a stranger? the last time you actually invested effort in your community? the last time you looked someone in the eyes and said - oh shit. we are both people. and we both deserve our humanity.
